Energy!

I had some energy today.  It was amazing.  I got stuff done and then I exercised with the Kinect dance video. 
I felt/ feel really grateful.  I am not even in much pain.  I am so used to feeling fairly crappy and getting by that I don't know what to do with this.  I just pray it lasts.

I am still freaked out about school starting next week but I need to chill out.  It will happen and I will be there and there is nothing I can do to "fix" it.  I will make it to both campuses or I won't.  I will find out when I get there.

I wish I had been born a Buddhist instead of a MethoJew.  I think I might be calmer...  By the way, for the uninitiated, a MethoJew is a kid with a Jewish daddy and a Schicksa mama who grew up in the United Methodist Church.  After much cognition and theology and years of self examination, my friend, David, told me a few months ago, "don't you know you are a MethoJew?"  I did not know that.  But, yes, I am. 
I shall never be either fish nor fowl.  I do not completely feel like I fit in a Methodist church at times and I do feel I fit in at the Temple.  But, there is this irritating question of theology.  I am a (very closeted Jesus freak).
I do not believe there is one path.  There are many, many paths to God.  They vary by culture and time.  But, the Jesus thing works for me.  I believe God gives a damn enough to contact us through human flesh.  I am not sure how it all works but I think it occurs right on the cross.  Right there, God steps in and says, "This one is mine.  I am feeling you, man.."
Or something like that.
But, I wish I had known more Judaism as a child.  It is a very safe world that echoes very, very deeply.  I have tried to learn but I know I will always be a half assed Jew. 
In this time and this place I am a MethoJew.  I am seeking but never completely found.  But, then again, maybe I should quit thinking so much!