I have been trying to hold it all together. I lose sleep and that causes worse pain and then I sleep and I wake up feeling great so I over do. This means, essentially, that the whole cycle repeats. I am beginning to think of myself as a rodent on an exercise wheel. I can only make it go slowly and efficiently. If I try to jump off the wheel and do something different, I will find myself flat on my back, unable to turn over and too weak to climb back on the wheel. My whole goal needs to be stay on that wheel and move it around and pretend I am doing my life. ,,
Life as I once knew it; is gone. However, I don't have to give in. I just need to get friendly with the new dimensions in which I have found myself. My cage is smaller. There are fewer exits and not a lot of snacks. I would love so invite someone over to help me with my Katie sized rodent wheel. Unfortunately, they are all busy on their own wheels of motion. So the question becomes... to what end and I trying so hard for? I need to just be grateful for the days when I can climb on and make the whole thing go. Only then can I look around at the wheels of others and then, despite our differences, we can shout out encouragement to one another.
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